Which Thing Are You?
I took a quiz to find out what I am, and I got something awesome! Which thing are you?
Which stage prop from a sitcom would I be? According to the “Entertainment Weekly” quiz, I’m Jerry Seinfeld’s telephone (land line). Dang! I was hoping for the fridge.
Love, love, love the Wool Growers Association quiz; I got Border Liecester! Which breed of sheep are you?
Tricky stuff filling in that Roman Numerals Career Profile questionnaire, but guess what? I’m MCMXXIX. Hey, that’s 1929—the year of the stock market crash! Ruh Roh.
Yikes. Creepy crawlers in the African Serpents and Other Reptiles personal profile, and look out everybody—I’m an Eastern Green Mamba. Free the vipers!
I also took the Arabic Numeral quiz, and apparently I’m “8,” whatever that means. I guess this helps at the casino?
I followed my heart in the Kitchen Utensil Matchmaker quiz, and now I’m dating a slotted spoon! (for non-stick surfaces). Which utensil is YOUR honey bunny?
Just completed the Silent Movie Starring Mabel Normand quiz, and I got For the Love of Mabel. Anyone who knows me probably saw that coming!
Whew! Finally finished that “Engines of Antiquity” quiz. I got Water Wheel, which also means I’m very spiritual.
I kicked that “Badass Aircraft of the Second Word War” quiz. I’m a B-17 Flying Fortress, bitches. Yo, Hitler, I’ma fuck up some German munitions factories!
According to some stuff that happened during my birth, I’m polypropylene. What type of plastic did your mom’s procedure make you?
Which hardwood was I in a past life? A shellbark hickory. Take the quiz and find out what you’re made of, fella.
Dig this, comrades: I just completed the Former Soviet Union Automobile Production quiz. That’s me behind the wheel of a 1968 Moskvitch 412! Is reliable transportation—nyet!
If we can trust the Corrugated Cardboard Personality Assessment, I’m Single Wall Board, E-flute. I may contain the next pizza you order! Which cardboard container are you?
Here’s some Bible fun, you guys. A new i-Phone app matches your employment history with Old Testament plagues; it turns out I’m locusts. You mofos better harvest that wheat before my ass gets back in town!
WTF? That Buzzfeed quiz has me down as Richard Speck. Which real-life serial killer are you?